God in Human Suffering

 

 

God in Human Suffering

 The God who loves us more than anyone can comprehend, more than our parents or spouses love us, more than we love our children allows us to suffer.  What sense does this make?  Do we not shield our loved ones from suffering when we can?  If God is so merciful how can he allow horrific tragedies, illnesses and life-changing injuries?

If you feel forgotten by or even punished by God you are certainly not alone.  Many people who figure they do not deserve the heart-wrenching circumstances they are in feel abandoned by God.  How, after all, can God love us yet still allow the suffering we see day in and day out?  Why does God not punish those who do horrible things rather than those who are simply trying to serve him by raising their families and teaching their children about God and his great wonders?

God is not some far off spirit who looks down upon us waiting to zap us for failing to pray enough, for getting angry, eating too much, (insert your vices).  God wants to be – and is – part of the human condition.  Think about that.  God who is perfect and is worshipped by the angels and saints chooses to be part of all the faults, disappointments and imperfections that is the human condition.  So why doesn’t God jump in and heal us when we are suffering?

God allows us to suffer because we are called to be saints and saints suffer.  Jesus suffered and as Christians and disciples we are called to follow Jesus.  To heaven, yes.  But let us not forget the road Jesus traveled.  We are called to follow him on the road laid out for us.  This is naturally going to involve suffering because even Jesus suffered and he suffered much more than any one of us ever will on this earth.

This can be a very difficult concept to grasp and especially to accept.  When you are ill, it is not a natural reaction to think “Wow, this is great!  I’m preparing for sainthood.”  Most of us are more of the mindset, “I hate being sick” then proceed to be annoyed because we caught the latest bug going around.  It can be even worse when we have something more serious.  “Why did this happen to me?  I didn’t do anything that bad to deserve this.”

I was once watching Mother Angelica’s show on EWTN when a caller asked the nun why a particular relative suffered so much.  The caller’s relative was a very devout Catholic and the caller did not understand why God would allow this suffering by someone so loyal to God.  Mother Angelica told the caller that maybe because this woman is so devout that she suffers.  Jesus suffered and all saints are called to suffer.  Let’s not forget too that God allows us to do some of our purgatory on earth.  No matter how hard our circumstances are here, our being disallowed from being with God (Purgatory) until we are ready will be much harder.  We will have seen God and we will want more than we every wanted anything to be with him.  Yet we will not be allowed to do so until we are cleansed to the point when we may enter heaven.

If you feel you’ve been abandoned by God, take heart.  You have been called to sainthood!  How we handle our woes can please or displease God.  If we carry on complaining and feeling sorry for ourselves, this is obviously not the kind of behavior God is looking for from us.  Rather, we need to learn to offer up our suffering to God because of our love for him. 

“Lord, I offer up my suffering to you because of my love for you.  Please stay close to me and help me.  Above all, your will be done.”

This simple prayer is pleasing to God because in it we accept our suffering. In addition, we ask for God’s help and closeness but we ask that God’s will – not ours – be done.

Remember, God knows you.  He knows the areas in which you need to be healed and sometimes suffering is the way he heals us. He also realizes that disappointment and sadness are normal in harsh circumstances, so do not feel guilty for failing to rejoice when say, you are up all night with the latest version of the flu or going through a bout of depression.  Feeling gratitude for our suffering is a process and it takes time to get to where God is leading us so do the best you honestly can.  And be patient with yourself just as God is patient with you. 

Do not concern yourself with those who seem to “get away with everything” while they leave others to suffer in their wake.  Such people have problems of their own even if those problems are not obvious to us.  Not knowing God, not loving God and failing to serve God is suffering in itself.  And while many Christians believe that all who simply believe that Jesus is the Son of God are going to heaven regardless of what they do or how they act on earth, Catholics believe no such thing.  Catholics believe that we have decisions to make.  Anyone can, after all, say they believe that Jesus is the Son of God but many do not realize the full weight of their assertion.  We cannot simply accept Jesus as Lord to “be on the safe side” and expect to enter heaven.  Those who cause, do or permit evil in the world have more problems than the worst suffering cancer patient.  The cancer patient may well be preparing for heaven, but the evil-doer is preparing for a different place entirely.  He must turn from his evil ways because there is no place in heaven for evil.  Unfortunately, we are all sinners and none of us are perfect or guaranteed a place in heaven.  But the cancer patient is beginning his healing process while the healthy, oppressive evil-doer has a long way to go if he ever gets there.

God will not abandon you.  He wants to be close to you and the closer you draw to him the closer he will draw to you.   In suffering, consider yourself blessed.  You are in training for sainthood and to enter the Kingdom of God.

 



 



How to Survive the death of a Loved One

How to survive the death of a Loved One

When a loved one passes there is simply nothing anyone can say or do to relieve the pain we feel from their absence.  Even the words of Jesus Himself can sound more like clichés than the Truth we should take comfort in.  Priests and ministers, family and friends all attempt to help us feel better and once in a while someone’s words may have an immediate positive affect, but it’s usually temporary and we are left feeling sad, alone and perhaps frightened, angry or both.

The grieving often wonders why their beloved was taken from them.  Comments such as “it’s always sad when it happens to the good ones” are common.  Some people blame God and get angry with him.  Others just withdraw into a state of depression.  And some feel compelled to begin or join in an effort to help others who might be in a situation similar to that which led to the death of their beloved.

While the grieving process must run its course, there are some things to consider that might help you through one of the most difficult times, if not the most difficult time, in your life.

Remember you are not alone.  While you may feel terribly lonely, God, Jesus and Mary are always by your side.  You may not be able to feel them through your despair, but just the knowledge that they are there might offer some consolation.  As difficult as it may be, try to pray and ask for God’s help, Jesus’s comfort and Mary’s intervention, even if these prayers are short.

There are also countless forums, blogs and other social media outlets you can eventually join where you can network with those experiencing similar emotions.  Chatting online will give you a sense of community as you connect with those who understand what you are going through.

Reflect on how you made your loved one happy.  Remind yourself how, while he or she was alive, you showed your love to the departed and of the joy you brought them.  This will help you to realize that your loved one was happy during his or her life and that you are part of the reason.

Most of us assume our loved ones are going to heaven and perhaps they are.  But there are certainly some who worry about what is going to happen to the departed. Catholics believe in Purgatory, a place where they are not yet with God.  There, those who have died are preparing for heaven because they are not yet ready to be in that perfect place. Whether or not you believe in Purgatory you may be concerned about your loved one for any number of reasons.  Perhaps he or she did not worship God.  Maybe the deceased left the world with mortal sin on his or her soul.  Believers, unbelievers, worshippers, non-worshippers and those who have a chip on their shoulder about religion or are angry at God are all going to pass.  Here are a few things you might want to think about if you are concerned about where the one you loved is, especially if his or her soul was not in the best spiritual shape at the time of their departure:

God is Just.  Even if your beloved was not particularly religious, God takes everything into account.  He will only hold us accountable for what we can control and only God really knows what that is. 

God is Merciful.  There is not a single person that God does not want to have with him.  While God is just he is also merciful.  Because he knows every part of us, he alone knows our strengths and weaknesses.  If you believe in God’s tender mercy, your heart will feel a bit lighter. 

Trust in God.  Because Jesus died for us, it is obvious that death is a part of God’s plan.  We cannot be with him until we die.  Therefore, trust that the departing of your loved one is part of God’s perfect plan. 

Give it Time.  God is the ultimate healer and it seems that one of the tools he uses is time.  The suffering you do now, if endured in the spirit of Christ, may be part of your penance.  The saints certainly believed that to be true, so much in fact that many of them sought out ways to suffer and gave thanks for their suffering.  Saint Margaret of Scotland lost her husband and son in war and was devastated, but she gave thanks to God that she could suffer for her sins.  Most of us are nowhere near that level of commitment and when we first lose a loved one it is probably not the first thing on our minds.  But it is something to work on in the future.

Here are some things to consider depending on the type of death your loved one suffered:

Sickness:  Most of us would rather die a quick, painless death than hang on for months or years ill and dependent on others to care for us.  But if we endure our sickness in a Christ-like manner perhaps God will accept our illness as part of our penance.  While God may or may not will us to become sick, he certainly uses it for good.  Countless people have gotten closer to God during or after an illness.  If your loved one was terminally ill, part of God’s mercy may be that your beloved will be with God sooner because of the suffering they endured on earth.

Accidents:  Fatal accidents are difficult because we don’t know they are coming.  Having a police officer appear at your door and tell you a loved one has passed has to be a grueling experience.  The fatal accident, in some ways, is the opposite of a terminal illness.  While it is sad to think of an otherwise healthy person dying from an accident, it is also true that they are free of any further pain.  They have also been blessed that they did not suffer the type of death most of us fear.

Early Deaths:  Some theologians believe that God will not allow anyone to die an early death who would have eventually repented.  If your loved one suffered an untimely death, God may have spared him or her from some terrible pain down the road.  It is also true that regardless of how good a person is, they can always lose their way.  If they are right with God at the time of their death, not only are they spared from further pain on earth, but they will not have the chance to turn away from God.

Murder:  If he or she has been murdered God will take care of that in his time.  The offender will have to go before God and answer to him for what they have done.  No punishment on earth can match that.  It is in your best interest to do all you can to eventually forgive the person who killed your beloved.  God knows how to handle what happened.  Leave it to Him.

Suicide:  This has to be one of the most difficult situations to be in.  Taking one’s own life is clearly against God’s law.  But remember that God alone knows exactly what was in the heart of the beloved.  God knows the soul of the departed.  Trust that God is all loving, merciful and giving.  He will always do what is just.

The idea that God can do anything leaves out an important exception and that exception is anything wrong or sinful.  God can only do that which is good because he is perfect and that means his love is perfect.  Tough times are often opportunities to get closer to God.  Take that opportunity, hard as it may be at the time.  Some of us naturally turn to God when we are grieving.  But the death of a loved one is such a severe tragedy that some Christians cannot turn to God because they are too sad or too angry.  Sadness and anger are not of God.  These emotions are part of the human condition – a condition that God longs to share with us.  Imagine that.  The love of God is such that the Almighty wants to suffer with us and to help us through it

He will wipe away every tear…

Imagine your loved one in Heaven, seeing God, Jesus, Mary and all the saints.  Yes, you are left here without him or her.  But the very image of your beloved more joyous than they ever could be on earth in the company of God, Jesus, Mary, the Apostles, the angels and saints will lift your heart.  And remember, you will eventually join them.  Your time has not come.  God still has plans for you.  Try to focus on those plans and stay faithful to God.

How will you live without them?  One second, one moment, one day at a time.  There is nobody we need but God.  He alone is sufficient.  God will provide for us if only we ask.  This does not mean it will be easy, it means it is possible.  God made us to be strong and courageous and you will eventually be okay.  Your beloved is in God’s hands completely.  Put your life in God’s hands, too.

When a loved one dies they take a piece of us with them.  So if your loved one is in Heaven, a little piece of you is also in Heaven.  And that is a reason to rejoice.

New Year's Resolutions for the Soul

New Year’s Resolutions for the Soul

It’s time for making new resolutions, or old resolutions if we haven’t fulfilled last year’s or the year before that or the year before that…  Most resolutions are trendy, such as buying a new house, getting out of debt, starting college and of course one of the most popular in the United States – losing weight!  That last one’s a toughie.  I no longer even count it as a New Year’s Resolution because for me it’s more like a perpetual diet.

New Year’s Resolutions offer us a fresh start.  Many people get excited about making improvements in their lives and the motivation of a new beginning helps thousands reach goals that have become stagnant.

Speaking of getting stagnant, how’s your spiritual health?  Have you made any plans for improving your relationship with God?  Let’s face it, looking good in skinny jeans and driving a new car make us feel good, but the area in all our lives that needs the most improvement is our spiritual development.  If you are already a devout Christian it will be pretty easy for you to think up ways to get closer to God.  The most obvious are more prayer, listening to God, fasting, reading Scripture and other Christian literature, and charity work.  For those of you who have mostly or even completely neglected this aspect of your life, coming up with a plan to move closer to God might be more of a challenge.  You’re rusty, after all, and getting started is often the hardest part.

Once you decide to improve spiritually, you’ve already started. Congratulations!  It’s the very first step in a number of small steps throughout the year and beyond.  Your job is to find small actions that will lead you to God and build on them.  Unless you have an all-or-nothing personality, don’t attempt hard-core leaps out of the gate.  Instead, find something manageable, and when you have that down move on to another small step.  Spiritual development is very much like dropping 30 lbs.  Most people give up at the gym after two or three months because after starting all gung-ho they quickly burn out.  If you haven’t exercised in years attempting a five mile run on week two is likely to result in, at best, an exhausted body necessitating a week off before you can begrudgingly lace your running shoes back up, if you ever get to it.  Next thing you know you’re back to your old life where walking from your car to the office is about the most exercise you experience on a daily basis.

You don’t want to go all-out in one giant blast of enthusiasm just to fall back into saying a quick prayer now and again that God will help you find a sale for those shoes you’ve been eyeing.

So what can you do to improve upon a sedentary or nonexistent spiritual life?  Let’s start with five easy but critical steps to a close relationship with God:

1. If you do not pray at all, start.  Try any type of prayer at first whenever it best suits you.  Once you get the hang of that, try praying deeper.  Extend it from the laundry list of things you want God to do for you and those you care about to thanking God for prayers answered as well as those things we take for granted (i.e. good health, plentiful food, family, God’s love and constant companionship, etc.).  If you’re not sure what to say, recite the Lord’s Prayer.  You might obtain a book with prayers you can pray.  We can always be deeper when it comes to prayer.  Eventually you will want to ask God for help in avoiding temptations, particularly those you struggle with the most.  Seek God’s help in everyday matters such as fidelity to your duties, making decisions, expressing kindness and obedience to God’s Commandments.  Once you’re really in shape in the prayer department, it’s time to pray for those you do not like, people who have wronged you and those who annoy you.
2. Read Scripture.  The beauty of this is that you can read at your own pace.  God isn’t standing over you with a hammer waiting to smack you if you don’t read a certain amount each day.  You can set goals for yourself if it will help you stick to it, but you can also read the amount you have time for and what you can contemplate on any given day, depending on the amount of energy you have and the state of mind you’re in. 
3. Find other things to read that will help you move ahead spiritually.  For those of you who like fiction, there are many novels with Christian messages that you will be able to relate to.  For instance, the now famous Fireproof is about a troubled marriage.  Look for books that address issues you are dealing with.  For those who are more direct and like to obtain information, there are a ton of great books that explain different parts of the Bible, situations you might find yourself in and how to handle them in ways pleasing to God that will also help you with the situation at hand.  There are entire books written about how to get closer to God.  Be sure to find books and columns you can relate to.  There’s so much written about Christianity, no matter where you are in your faith there is something out there for you.  If you are extremely busy with work and family and don’t have much time to read, weekly or daily columns might be your best bet.  If you are an intellectual you are obviously going to want something written in a way that you enjoy.  Some of us prefer material that’s helpful in a “down-to-earth” sort of way.  Seek out what works for you.  Trust me, it’s there.
4. Ask questions.  When I was planning to convert to Catholicism I had a zillion questions!  Some people have a gift for explaining confusing topics in a clear way.  If you don’t know anyone, drop me a line.  It would be my pleasure to help you better understand your faith.  If I can’t help you I’ll be the first to admit it and will try to refer you to a book, website or forum that can.
5. Attend Mass or a Christian service.  This is a must for practicing Catholics but if you have not been attending Mass, don’t beat yourself up.  Just go to confession and get back into the swing of it.  For non-Catholics, start out by finding a church you like.  The service should make you think and offer a good way to worship God.  Even if you don’t go every Sunday at first, try to go at least some of the time.  Some ministers are very well learned and they should be able to help you develop spiritually.  You may even meet others who will inspire you and, assuming you have a good attitude, you will inspire others by the way you worship.

These are small, easy steps that do not require a lot of your time, money or energy.  This is a good way to start a Spiritual New Year’s Resolution.  And like exercise for the body, the more spiritually “in shape” you get the healthier your soul will be.  In the long-run what you look like on earth, your house, your car, how much money you make won’t matter in the least.  But the shape your soul is in when you leave this world is going to matter.  And it will matter for eternity.  So take good care of it, my friends.  Remember to put God first and others before yourself.  That is the ultimate challenge and the steps above will help you get started.